Today's Love Quote
Love Quotes

Who is Mr. Right? Really?

Mr. Right is the man every woman wants to meet. He is elusive. Hard to find. And much harder to catch. The truth is if we ever found Mr. Right, we probably wouldn’t recognize him. I don’t even know what that means anymore.

Who exactly is Mr. Right?

Does he look any different than all the Mr. Wrong’s we meet?  Will he walk right up to us and sweep us off our feet? Will there be an obvious neon “Pick me!” light floating above his head?

No. Of course not.

Mr. Right is as likely to be shopping in your grocery store or on the treadmill at your gym as he is hanging around the mountains or watching football at some local bar. The truth is he could be anywhere. Yet it is difficult to spot him, especially if you have really giving up on finding him.

Since it seems hard to find him, let’s look at the alternatives:

Mr. Right Now…

This is the guy who keeps asking you out for dates. He is totally into you, but you aren’t captivated by him. He may not be who you are looking for, but is sexy as hell.  He is the life of the party and the envy of other men. Pretty dull personality, but looks like his abs have been Photoshopped. Eventually, after noticing all your girlfriends are getting boyfriends, you decide to hang onto him.

Why not?  The holidays are coming. And of course you don’t want to be the last girl left standing alone on the sidelines. He treats you pretty good and he’s happy just to be with you. You might actually like him if he was even remotely interesting and talked about more than work and Family Guy. But you aren’t really dating him for quality conversation, are you?

Mr. Right Here…

This guy is handy. What I mean is he is convenient. He works in your office or lives in your apartment complex. He might be your friend’s kind neighbor who often drops by or the guy at the bank. You have seen him so many times, he blends into the background. Totally not your type, but kinda cute and makes you laugh.

He’s not assertive or pushy and has pretty much put you in the dreadful “friend zone.” He likes sports, but doesn’t obsess (or yell at the TV) and enjoys reading books (not ones with pictures or glossy ads either). Cheesy pick up lines and fart jokes are beneath him. Honestly, he’s so nice that you immediately think there must be something wrong with him. There’s not. He’s just a nice guy not trying too hard.

Mr. Right for Them…

“He’s so perfect for you!!” This is the one that everyone else seems to think is your Mr. Right, but you may have not even met. His photos are not promising either. This guy is the son of your parents’ friends who have been trying for years to get you together. He might be the college roommate of your coworker’s husband or your best friend’s cousin who lives in another state. They have all conspired several times over the years just so that you could meet him. Maybe you do someday and the meeting is pretty anti-climatic.

With so much pressure from everyone, you aren’t even sure if you truly like him or if you’re trying to please all the other people who think you would be perfect together.

Mr. Right But…

This guy’s got issues. Nothing outrageous, but enough for you to pause. The pause could be some sort of commitment avoidance thing on your part or a gut instinct. He could actually be perfect for you – your Mr. Right – but there is some glitch that you aren’t sure you can get past.

He might be recently divorced or a single father with two small children. You’re not even sure if you want children of your own and certainly not someone else’s children. Maybe he travels a lot for his job or is is a workaholic. He carries a little weight in the midsection or seems to drink just a little too much.

He could be a great guy, but he doesn’t exactly fit your fairytale story – instead of the tall, handsome prince, he’s short and prematurely balding.

Are any of these men in your life?  The Almost Mr. Right. I bet at least one of them are.

Well where is Mr. Right?

Before you answer, “I don’t know,” take an honest second look at Mr. Right Now, Mr. Right Here, Mr. Right for Them or Mr. Right But.  One of them could be your Mr. Right. Just waiting for you to see him for what he really is. Maybe.

Or…maybe not.

2 comments to Who is Mr. Right? Really?

  • Tim Casey

    Mr. Right Now, Mr. Right Here, Mr. Right for Them or Mr. Right But.

    Great point where are we? We are out here in the world. Men who have done nothing really wrong. We work hard, don’t ask for too much, are comfortable with some attention from a woman, and even desire that attention.
    But we’ve been burned, a lot. We have trusted that fulfilling a basic list of male job descriptions should be good enough. We hold down jobs, we hold open doors, we hold hands in public, and we have learned to hold our tongues as well.
    We have been sold a lie. That women are just looking for that guy that respects them, that can make them laugh, that can have a conversation about something other than sports. A man that maybe isn’t the perfect physical specimen, but isn’t a total slob. A man that loves them, that listens, and understands where they are coming from.
    But that is a lie. Hollywood, television, books, who knows what the source is, has slipped an idea into your collective heads. That there is more, that there is some fictional Mr. Right. He does exist but as you put it, you women can’t see us. You wear glasses that always focus somewhere over our shoulder, somewhere behind us. And you know what? A lot of us are tired of even trying.
    The amount of hoops we have to jump through are fatiguing. It’s easier to be alone then deal with knowing that you can and will be replaced whenever convenient.
    Ms. Right Now…
    A woman we consider for sex and probably sex only. She hangs in the bars on the weekend, dress for maximum effect and gets a little too drunk. We’ve seen her before and just hate that she is that way. She might be a really nice woman but she uses or base desires against us. I will not deny that under the wrong circumstances we will take the bait.
    But it isn’t fulfilling, it never is because meaningless sex is just that meaningless. You may think you have us figured out on this one but you don’t. Sometimes we think sex is over rated too.
    Ms. Right Here…
    She makes our morning espresso, checks the balance on our checking account because we just never get that one right. She is the single mom we see when picking up the kids from school or at the classroom birthday party. Pretty enough, polite enough, and the signals are there that if we asked she would say yes. But we can see some other jerk ahs kicked her so hard in the past that we will never be able to convince her that we won’t.
    She is broken and we can never win that one, because we have tried before. No matter how we try their trust is so shattered, that even if we help glue it back together, the mirror will always have a fractured reflection in it.
    Ms. Right For Them…
    She loves the Broncos as much or more than we do and the Avs. and the Nuggets, and Rockies, and too much. She snowboards, camps, hikes and fishes. She must be perfect, she likes sex too and isn’t hung up about it. She’ll buy a round for the boys, or dress-up in heels for the Christmas party. We don’t want a man with a vagina, we want a woman.
    She tries so hard that she has lost track of who she is. She will become so dependant that she has no life independent of us. No life of her own, and we end up feeling sorry for her.
    Ms. Right But…
    But why is she still out there? Is she a woman that played the games we hated a few years ago and now is staring at middle life alone? Did she really learn any lessons, or has real life scared her into humility? Does she see that all the years she could have found Mr. Right, could have had Mr. Right were wasted looking right past him for the real one to show up?
    We will never know. Some of us are still here, but we don’t like the taste of shoe leather anymore and we are fine without it.

    • Julie

      Wow! Thank you very much for the male perspective (I may turn this into a separate blog post – with your permission). I like to give the male and female perspective. Looks like we are all in the same boat! I think for many (or some) of us it was all around bad timing. Whether we met him or her or not, many times one or the other person is just in a different place. It is certainly tough out there and with the divorce rate, it seems we all end in the same place, just via a different route.

      What if we really LIKE football!?! though! 😉 I watch it with my girlfriend, a man has nothing to do with it (well maybe a little if we are watching Tebow, Brady, or Rodgers – lol). Do you live in Colorado?

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