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Attention Guys Who Don’t Want a Needy Woman…

Independent Women

Image via Wikipedia

While there have been many women’s liberation movements in history – the right to vote, to get an education, to work, wear pants – the era of the Bionic Woman, the Mary Tyler Moore Show, and Wonder Woman seems to stand out to most.

Ironically, men seem to be more interested in the women’s movement, women’s lib, feminist movement, whatever you want to call it, than women are.

Some use it as an excuse to stop paying for dinner or opening car doors. (Another topic…)

Other men want to fight the women’s movement saying all the women’s movement did was create angry, selfish, man-hating b__ches. Well, that may be true for some women.  But, those women may have been that way even if there was no women’s movement.

Women are just more independent now. The reality is today’s woman doesn’t need you –  in the traditional sense.  And while that might be a real shocker, trust me on this, this is a good thing.

Pre-1970’s Women’s Movement

Back in the day, women, at least some women, married a man to take care of them, pay all the bills, and give them the fancy lifestyle they wanted. The assumption was made in matrimony that the man would take care of the woman financially while she kept a clean house and spent all day preparing dinner, watching soap operas, or shoe shopping.

Post-1970’s Women’s Movement

Obviously, this may still happen in some households, but it’s typically by choice, not necessity. Women today are much more educated and independent, and again – that’s a good thing.

Most modern women are completely capable of fending for themselves in the big, scary world, so they don’t need you to pay their bills and look after them. Okay, so the reason this is such a good thing is that most women you’ll run across in your dating endeavors are interested in finding love, companionship, and mutual partnership rather than a checkbook or security blanket. (I understand there are still women looking for sugar daddys).

If you have money, that’s great! Ambition? Very attractive. Obviously, no women wants a lazy bum who can’t hold a job! But she’s probably more interested in how the income will contribute to your life partnership and romantic getaways than whether or not you’ll be giving her a new kitchen appliance for her next birthday.

We Still Need You – Just Not Your Checkbook

In your dating experience, you’re likely to come across both types of women – the ones that are needy and the one’s that are not.

This doesn’t mean women don’t need men.  Just in a different way. Women and men will always need each other in some capacity – it is what makes the world go ’round.  But, somehow, this transition in roles has caused some confusion.

Some men still seem to gravitate towards the “needy” women out there. By this I mean the ones who seem to delight in emotional drama and scenes (insecure anyone), need hourly-text-message-reassurances, can’t balance a checkbook or pay a mortgage, and require you to buy them a spa visit every weekend.

Are these men intimidated by the big, bad, independent, strong women? Ewwww…scary!

Maybe some of these men feel threatened or confused by this modern arrangement. Like in some way having a healthy FICO score and ladies night out diminishes their manhood.  Or, is it the hero complex of wanting to save us? Could it be they don’t feel a sense of purpose if they are not the “sole providers” or the “man of the house”?  These are just conjectures and educated guesses.

But then there are the guys who don’t like needy women.

They’re okay with UNneedy. Nice.

Not only has the times changed but women are waiting longer to think seriously about marriage. They finish college, start careers, invest their money. Women have learned that they can handle things and are capable of providing for themselves if they need to.

Many women today are perfectly capable of buying their own homes, cars, and accessories. Sure, there are patches in their lives where they may be on the broke side. But, somehow they climb out of that debt, on their own.

They’re not necessarily women’s libbers or cold feminists, but they have learned that they’re responsible for their own life’s successes and failures.

This does not mean being a gentleman dies along with this!  Somehow that got lost in translation. They still want to form lasting, romantic and loving partnerships with great guys, but they aren’t looking for someone to save them.

If you’re interested in being with a smart, strong, self-confident woman who has a handle on her life and who is looking for a great partner to share that life with, the women’s movement is definitely on your side.  Because of this, you can have an increased level of confidence that she likes you for you – not your money, your house, or the fact that you have an expensive car.

Women still want affection, thoughtful conversations, and romantic gestures. Today’s woman may pay her own mortgage, but she is still looking for chivalry and romance, not “going dutch” or a shortage of flowers or romantic gifts.  She is looking for love and respect, not an excuse to be cheap and lazy.

Be a good man. A gentle and kind man.

More often than not, she’s looking at what’s inside, not the cold hard cash.

2 comments to Attention Guys Who Don’t Want a Needy Woman…

  • Laurie McMahon

    You go, Sistah! Men need to stop looking for dramatic and dysfunctional women in the world. There are too many single men and women, that are passing each other like ships in the night, because they don’t see the “normal” available people out there. Maybe we could all meet at the same time and location one day to make it easier! LOL. Both sexes end up settling for the wrong person, obviously, with a %50 divorce rate in the USA.

    We all need to step away from the computer and perfect images shown on TV and start getting REAL and know people on something more than a superficial level.

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