What is Love? Timeless Words

Ah, the never-ending question.  One I have presented on this blog before. The question that will be asked generation after generation. Can it even be answered?  Doesn’t it vary from one person to the next?  Aren’t there different types of love?  No. Yes. Yes.

I am talking here now of romantic love.  Most people think being single gives you little perspective on true love. So not true.  Being single gives you time to reflect, analyze your failed relationships, gain perspective, and further solidify what you really want a relationship to be like.  So, when it does happen, you will detect it in 7 minutes flat.

You read a lot of books about love and relationships when you are single.  Truthfully, you have more time on your hands to think about love.  Since it is what you crave.

Once again, these are just my musings and observations I have managed to gather through the years of dating. I came across this article titled, What is Love? a few years ago.  But, the subject of love really is timeless.  (For the most part.)   The perspective is Jewish, but I think it applies across the board of all religions, races, and genders.  Now, I will add my two-cents….

What is Love, Really?

I thought this article was rather realistic about love.  (Romantic love of course.) It talks about the love that grows and the love that is a choice.

Slow Down and Let Love Grow

We live in a fast-based I-want-it-NOW, world of instant gratification and taking the time to let love grow seems to be a test of true patience.  Patience we seem to be having little these days.  Online dating, high rates of divorce,social media access, and low moral standards make marriage almost seem like one small step above casual dating.

It is EASY to meet people, EASY to get married (thank you Britney Spears) and EASY to get divorced.  Why put in any real effort for things that are EASY?  How much do we appreciate things that come EASY? Not much.  Real love is not always EASY.

Love is something that is worthy of taking time to develop. It is what remains when all the fireworks have gone. You may have read my previous post on this subject of defining love.  I am revisiting it again after reading the article mentioned above.  Love is something that grows and is sustained in the most trying times. As the article mentions, love is the attachment that results from deeply appreciating another’s goodness.

After the Fireworks Fade Out

It is not about fireworks, flowers, fantastic vacations, and hot sex. It is not about spending every waking moment together. It is deep, honest, and it does takes work. Not EASY. In the beginning you heart may flutter or skip a beat.  But, in time, your heart will be flooded with memories – good and bad.  The heart will start to fill with touching moments and a deep appreciation for that other person. It will be too heavy to “flutter.”

I read somewhere this definition: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. Isn’t that how God loves us?  Isn’t that how we should love? Too often, we think of love in selfish terms.  What can he or she do for me?  I want this person to make ME feel awesome and loved. I want this person to understand MY needs.  If they do not, I will choose to hold back my love for him or her.

One lesson I have learned is people will run as soon as they don’t feel the magical spark. I can only love someone who will stick through the ups and downs of romantic love, not put me on some unrealistic pedestal.  Goodness, someone with a heart and a lot of love to give, even to the not so lovable.

I decided it is best not to fall in love first — wait until it comes your way, then decide if the person offering you their heart can make you happy and will love you even when the fireworks fade.

It is not a fairytale, it is realistic. As the article eludes, it is about goodness and character–that is what we fall in love with. And that is everlasting. Timeless.