Dating is Like Selling a Home

For those of you out there looking for dates, you may have enjoyed my post on Dating is Like Buying a Home.  There is also another side to this.  While you may be particularly choosy on who you will date, believe it or not others are particularly choosy on dating YOU.  Yes, it is true!

Let’s revisit our “real estate” analogy. Many people may think buying a home is a frustrating process, but selling a home is no picnic either, especially if it has been on the market for a very, long time. Depending on how desperate you are, selling a home may be even more frustrating!

Getting a Buyer

When you put your house on the market, the intention is to sell it, and that is what you hope for.  Some of us have had their house on the market for a long time.  Sure, there are times we take it off the market because of the difficulties trying to sell it.  But, deep down, we are always hoping someone will be interested in buying it, even if the “for sale” sign has been taken down.

Different Marketing Approaches

There are different approaches when trying to sell.  In this analogy, when you are trying to ‘market’ yourself, there are a variety of ways to sell yourself.  Many of us have tried a “for sale by owner” approach. Essentially, this is just simply not using outside resources, like dating sites. You could also sign up with an listing agent (a dating website) or ask friends if they know anyone in the market.

I have tried all of the above marketing approaches, with varying degrees of success (or failure).

Competing with the Brand New Model Homes

For those of us who are in our 30′s or 40′s, dating is even more challenging than when we were in our 20′s. For example, many buyers are looking for the newer models – the move in special. Low maintenance, pretty customizable, and room for changes. For those of us with an older home, there may be more convincing required.  We really have to sell ourselves. Some buyers may look at an older home and think – high maintenance, requires a lot of extra work to get it the way they want.

The truth is the older homes are built better, they have had many upgrades over the years, but a solid foundation.  They have character.  While, they may may not be as customizable as a new model, with some attention and tender loving care, the house can become a home you will learn to appreciate.

Struggling to Sell to Non-Committal Buyers

When you put your house on the market, people walk through and seem to love it.  You are happy to have people looking at your house, and you enjoy all the compliments and strong initial interest.  But, ultimately when it comes time to make that commitment, the buyers just can’t seem to follow through.  You wonder why because they seem to like the house, and have nothing but positive things to say.

You ask why they won’t buy, what is wrong with the house? “Nothing,” they say, “I like it, I am just not ready to buy.  Just looking, it is fun to check out houses in the area.” Well, if that is the case, why are you in the market?  Why did you sign up with a Realtor?

Lose you on the analogy? Well, this can be equated to some of those folks who sign up on dating sites, with no intention on having a relationship. Even though their profile has the headline, “looking for the one.”  Mixed messages. Which part is the truth?

Why Won’t My House Sell?

You ask your Realtor, your friends, your coworkers, everyone you know, “why is my house still on the market?” They all say the same thing, “I don’t know.  It seems perfect. I am really not sure why you are having such a hard time.”  You stand there frustrated, “Perfect? Than why will no one buy?”  Blank stares.

Many of these buyers feel the home lacks something they can not quite put their finger on.  “I just don’t feel it.” They continue to look for perfection. Your house may just not be perfect for them.

Buyer’s Remorse

Some of you buyers may finally find a house you think is perfect after looking at 127 of them. However, after you move in you realize it is really not that perfect.  Some of the rooms are smaller than you thought.  At times, the house creaks and moans. Then you start having buyer’s remorse.

Well, until you accept that every house has something that you will not like, good luck!  Look for the one that has MOST of the things you like – the important things – and be happy and accept it as your home. You will learn to live with the minor imperfections.

The Right Buyer Will Come Along

I realize that the person who is going to buy my house is someone who will spend the time really looking at the house.  Beyond the curb appeal (which is pleasantly appealing).   This person will understand that even though it has some wear and tear compared to the newer models, it is still a great home. The buyer who will buy my house will discover that even though the house has flaws, they will love it not despite these flaws, but because of them.  It is part of what makes the house special.

This is why long-lasting relationships start off as friends first.  Someone you can be yourself with, without fear of judgment.  Someone who really knows you, and your flaws, but has still accepted you. Maybe this person initially had no expectations because of the initial lack of romantic interest. Then, one day it changes. They see the real potential and realize they absolutely must grab it so it is off the market.

One day, they will stop looking and buy.